


I Didn't Know

by IntrovertedBookWorm



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cute Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Dan Howell/ Phil Lester Angst, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Comfort, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Depressed Phil Lester, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 01:32:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13089621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedBookWorm/pseuds/IntrovertedBookWorm
Summary: Dan wants to move out and Phil doesn't want him to. Angst ensures then Fluff.





	I Didn't Know

"I think I should move out," Dan says from the other side of the couch. Phil jerks his head up at the sound of Dan's words. 

Dan and Phil had been going through a rough time lately. Phil didn't really know what their relationships was and definitely, couldn't put it into words they had been best friends for years yet they argued and fought all the time. 

At the moment they were still suffering from the aftermath of another fight a few days ago. Phil couldn't remember what they were fighting about but it was enough to make Dan sit as far away as possible from him. 

After most fights, Phil wanted to cry and it was often when he would go to his bedroom, hide under his blankets and do just that. Phil hated fighting with Dan. After all, Dan was his best friend and Phil cared about him but Dan made Phil feel as though he couldn't care less about Phil. It hurt Phil more than it should but he had secretly loved Dan ever since they had first met and that love had only gown the more years they spent together. Despite their fight Phil still loved Dan, he couldn't lose him now and especially not to one of their stupid fights. 

"w-what?" Phil asked staring at his best friend wide-eyed. Dan shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, looking down at the laptop that sat on his lap. 

"I'm just saying, Phil, that maybe it'll be easier if I just leave." Phil could already sense the tension rising. It was a type of tension that always surrounded Dan and Phil, everywhere they went it was like a blanket smothering them. Pj described it as sexual tension. Phil always blushed like a tomato and Dan just laughed it off when their friend would say it in front of them. 

Phil could already feel the tears stinging his eyes but he looked away so Dan couldn't see them. "I-if that's what you think is best," Phil mutters. 

"I do," Dan whispers. A lone tear falls down Phil's cheek but he wipes it away hurriedly. Phil quickly stands up and makes to leave the room before he fully breaks down in front of Dan. Phil knew they had issues but he never thought Dan hated him so much that he had to move out just to get away from him. It hurt more than Phil would admit but at least he knew that his relationship with Dan was slowly crumbling just like his heart. 

"Phil don't just leave let's talk about this!" Dan shouts from behind him. Phil hears Dans hurried footsteps following him. Phils fingers curled into fists and suddenly felt anger boiling up in him. Usually, he tried to stop the oncoming argument by calming Dan down or trying to conceal his own anger but this time Phil was on the verge of breaking. 

He was always on the wrong side of Dans anger. No matter what he did, what he tried to do Dan was always mad at him. Even when Phil had done absolutely nothing wrong he was still the one getting yelled at. Phil had had enough. So instead of just walking away and crying in his bedroom like he would usually he spun around and forcefully pushed Dan back making him stumble. 

Dan's eyes widened in surprise. "Why Dan? Why should I listen to you huh? You never listen to me. You scream an shout at me but you never, never just try and talk to me. What did I do this time huh? What did I do that was so bad that you hate me enough to just leave? Is it my fault? Did I ruin this friendship or was it fucking doomed from the start? Do you even care about me Dan? Do you give a shit about how I feel after you've taken all of your crap out on me? Well considering how you're leaving soon I might as well tell you." Phil throws his arms in the air and stares directly into Dans confused and scared eyes. Most likely caused by Phil's language. Phil never swears and when he does it's because of he's really, really upset or mad.

"It hurts Dan. It hurts more than you can imagine. Every time we argue or everytime you screech at me I end up feeling worthless and like I mean nothing to you! After each and every argument no matter if it's just the simplest thing or if it causes you to storm out of the apartment, I will somehow always end up in my bedroom sobbing. Crying over how our relationship has changed, crying over the fact that you don't give a shit about my feeling. Then there are times when I'll cry over how you'll never know how much I care about you, how much I need you." Phil was crying now, unable to stop the tears falling down his cheeks. 

All of the anger leaked out of Phil until he stumbled barely able to hold himself up. He was just tired. So tired of fighting with dan, hiding his feelings, he was just tired of life. Phil scrubbed his hands down his face, before looking back up at Dan who was already staring at Phil regret and sorrow contorting his soft features. "You will never know how much I love you," Phil whispers before looking away. 

Dan seems to freeze momentarily his eyes widening a fraction and a small smile plays on his lips. "Phil...I-I didn't know." 

Phil chuckles humorously. "Of course you didn't. For starters, you only thought about yourself and didn't even think to acknowledge my feelings. It's okay that you don't feel the same, I knew you wouldn't. I mean why would you, I'm a stupid, worthless, weak human being. Why would you love someone like me to begin with." Phil shoves his hands in his pocket and stares at his feet. 

"Phil i-" Dan starts but is interrupted by Phil. 

"Don't Dan its okay, I just want you to be happy so just take what's yours and leave." 

Dan sighs and Phil know he's won. Dans gonna leave and he'll be all alone. "Fine, I will." The next thing Phil knows is that Dan picks him up and throws him over his shoulder. 

Phil smacks his fists on Dans back but the tall boy doesn't release him. "Dan, let go of me. what are you doing?" He yells struggling in Dans hold. Da simply chuckles walking towards the front door. "Nope, you told me to take whats mine and leave so that's what I'm doing." Phil immediately stops struggling. 

"W-what?" He asks bewildered. 

Slowly Dan comes to stop and places Phil back on his feet. Dan stares at Phil a smile playing on his perfect lips. "I'm sorry Phil. I never ever meant to hurt you, I guess all the fighting and anger I directed at you was to cover up how I felt about you. I have always had feelings for you, I just never thought they'd be returned so I bottled it all up and then took all of it out on you so it'sd push you away and maybe my feelings for you disappeared." Dan laughed. "As you can tell it didnt work." 

Phil stared up at Dan feeling like christmas had just arrived early. "B-But you called me annoying and a crap person. I-I thought you hated me. Y-you want to move out...I'm so confused." Phil was starting to pace in front of Dan. Dan grabs his shoulders and presses his lips to Phils.

Once they pull apart Phil stares breathlessly as his best friend. "W-Why did you do that?"

Dan shrugs and grins nervously. "Because I love you Philip Lester. I always gave and I always will. You mean a lot to my Phil. I'm sorry I made you feel worthless but you're not, not to me. I-I thought if I moved out it might be easier to be around you but I never thought about how you would feel I'm sorry. Please forgive me." 

Phil slams his lips onto Dans shutting him up. "You talk too much." Phil murmurs onto Dans lips. He smiles. 

"You should shut me up more often." Dan replies. So that's what Phil did.


End file.
